I have no interest in destroying my illusions – I like them too much. All I want in my life, you know, is love you. You call me when you’re tired. You call me when you’re busy. You call me when you’ve promised & it stops my breath every time. That you do. And you don’t. Forget. Me. It’s an integral part of you. It shouldn’t be under the burden of your conscience. I’m scared to find the depth of you that is complicated. We can still survive, even though something’s not good. I try to remember how you made me angry and I can’t. Maybe I’m angry, I don’t…

Goodnight. I think in matters of the heart we’re all alone somehow. Just know, it’s all okay whatever it is that you’re feeling. You have to trust yourself, there is no other option. I don’t think I’ve loved so intensely in such a long time, that I’m the least knowledgeable person when it comes to love. It’s all a mystery to me. Only thing I know is that when I thought I couldn’t survive, I did and & I changed. I became a different person over time & I wouldn’t want that change to go away. I became myself. “Everything you lose is a step you take.” But since I…

“La imaginación desbordante, atmósferas enigmáticas, libertad creativa.” You really get to see where the diamonds lie when you meet a lot of coal. No, no, no – how did it go? Sobre todo lo que me gusta es la imaginación. “Sobre todo no quería volver a hablar. She didn’t want her words to scream her pain.“ I always know when you write me a message because I wake up 8 mins afterwards. You care about me & I care about that. It’s not love but I love you still. Kristallklares Lachen. I knew what I was giving up but I gave it up anyway. I know that you will never…

“Will answer tonight!” Will not happen. I’m on my own. And I am grown. I can deal with this. A taste of the medicine. Mirroring can be effective. I heard. Well, it’s not even a tactic. I just don’t even feel like wasting my energy anymore. Rare for me. Share reality. Sad for me. I’m listening to the sky. The whole wide sky. In a loop in my ears. In a loop in my heart. The sky. Is breaking my heart. My face is blue and yellow. There are two sides. My ear is an eye. You can see two faces. My hair is black and curly. A soft Picasso.…

Ok, thank you for your message, sorry for you. My boundary is not to be left waiting like that. I need honesty in that way. And that is not too much to ask. I prefer not to make an appointment when you don’t have time for it. I still don’t understand why you didn’t cancel. Isn’t it in the back of your mind that you have another appointment that you can’t keep? So, why not just cancel? Or never suggest something that is so tight in the schedule that it can’t work. In any case, I cannot live like that. All I know is that I don’t find this sort…

Is the way that you tell time a cultural thing? Because I don’t understand why you don’t tell me before. Does it mean you don’t care or does it mean you’re overwhelmed? Or something else entirely? I don’t get it. I honestly don’t mind waiting that much. But I get super disappointed when I get disappointed, all the more after waiting a long time. So, I don’t know what to make out of it. If you can’t make it for whatever reason, I prefer a short and quick disappointment over a slow, hopeful and painful one. Leaving someone to wait is also a disrespect to that person’s time and life.…

When you don’t do things that you like in your life, you just get terribly tired. In petto. Lives in petto. Sometimes my patience fails me. The man decides. How can I escape this generation? Obedience is asked of everyone. And individuality has only one righteous place. The dominance is always right. The head of the family is the lion with the loudest roar. And ruby eyes. Widerrede nicht erlaubt. More to criticise than to love. Only dementia can save you. Now he has to help around. A couple like oil and water, only combined by the mustard of age. And desperation. The lack of options. What a blessing. And…